I wish I could punch you in the face.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
