i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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