well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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