As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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