Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
