awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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