Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
