you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
