the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
