Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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