wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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