I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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