Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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