my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
