You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
