His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've blown a few things in my day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
