the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
