Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
