YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love having hate sex.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
