i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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