I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
