i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
