erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just forgot I was standing up.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
