I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
50% drunk capacity currently
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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