let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
