White coat. Heels.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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