if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
