it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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