making cat noises will not fix the situation.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
