very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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