so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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