Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
