Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
