Barsexuality is the new black.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize