I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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