apparently the secret to your success is patron
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize