Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
