I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
