Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
