Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
