I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
