Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
