it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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