my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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