Dual....:-)
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Randomize
