I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
