like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize