I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
