The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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