If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
