that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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