She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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