alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
