So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
