You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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