Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
