the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
