I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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