i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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