We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
