We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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