I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
