It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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