I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
