Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
