i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize