I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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