day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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