i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
