At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
