its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
