Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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