do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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