I think i sorta joined a cult last night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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