I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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