if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
try to milk me bitch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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