She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
