you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize