There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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