69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Girls should come with a carfax report
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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