I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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